“Keep yourselves in the love of God . . . ”
-Jude 21
The Bible is a revelation of the fact that God is love. Many people misunderstand the attribute of God’s nature which is love. “God is love” does not mean that everything is sweet, beautiful, and happy, and that God’s love could not possibly allow punishment for sin.

When we preach justice, it is justice tempered with love. When we preach righteousness, it is righteousness founded on love. When we preach atonement, it is atonement planned by love, provided by love, given by love, finished by love, necessitated because of love. When we preach the resurrection of Christ, we are preaching the miracle of love. When we preach the return of Christ, we are preaching the fulfillment of love.

No matter what sin you have committed, or how terrible, dirty, or shameful it may be, God loves you. This love of God is immeasurable, unmistakable, and unending!
Prayer for the day
My heartfelt gratitude to You, Father, for Your forgiveness and love. I must be acutely aware that in all my dealing with others the only yardstick I have is Your immeasurable love.

Amazing, I can't believe it.


Bad bosses may damage your heart
office stress
Feeling undervalued can cause stress

Inconsiderate bosses not only make work stressful, they may also increase the risk of heart disease for their employees, experts believe.

A Swedish team found a strong link between poor leadership and the risk of serious heart disease and heart attacks among more than 3,000 employed men.

And the effect may be cumulative - the risk went up the longer an employee worked for the same company.

The study is published in Occupational and Environmental Medicine.

Stressful environment

Experts said that feeling undervalued and unsupported at work can cause stress, which often fosters unhealthy behaviours, such as smoking, that can lead to heart disease.

Previous work has shown that unfair bosses can drive up their employees' blood pressure, and persistent high blood pressure can increase heart disease risk.

For the latest study, researchers from the Karolinska Institute and Stockholm University tracked the heart health of the male employees, aged between 19 and 70 and working in the Stockholm area, over a period of nearly a decade.

During this time 74 cases of fatal and non-fatal heart attack or acute angina, or death from ischaemic heart disease, occurred.

All the participants were asked to rate the leadership style of their senior managers on competencies such as how clearly they set out goals for their staff and how good they were at communicating and giving feedback.



Feeling undervalued and unsupported can cause stress, which often leads to unhealthy behaviours...adding to your risk of developing heart problems

Cathy Ross of the British Heart Foundation

The staff who deemed their senior managers to be the least competent had a 25% higher risk of a serious heart problem.

And those working for what was classed as a long time - four years or more - had a 64% higher risk.

The findings held true, regardless of educational attainment, social class, income, workload, lifestyle factors, such as smoking and exercise, and other risk factors for heart disease, such as high blood pressure and diabetes.

The researchers, which included experts from University College London in the UK and the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health, said that if a direct cause and effect was confirmed, then managers' behaviour should be targeted in a bid to stave off serious heart disease among less senior employees.

They said managers should give employees clear work objectives and sufficient power in relation to their responsibilities.

Cathy Ross, cardiac nurse for the British Heart Foundation, said: "This limited, male-only study suggests that a good, clear working relationship with your manager may help to protect against heart disease.

"Feeling undervalued and unsupported can cause stress, which often leads to unhealthy behaviours such as smoking, eating a poor diet, drinking too much alcohol and not getting enough exercise - adding to your risk of developing heart problems.

"Being fit and active can give you the double benefit of busting work stress and boosting your heart health at the same time."

Keeping quite with a low profile is a good thing to do during difficult situation. It actually scares people because people just don't know what you are thinking. You keep people on their toes. What's more is silent with a stonecold confident face. Sometimes I talk to much, especially when hit with spell of emotion. How can I be keep my cool?

Ah Shar is looking at me again. She looks more like a middle-age Chinese woman in wool. More like a madam, a mother.

A Democracy Activist Beijing Puts Up With
For Hong Kong's 'Long Hair,' Location Makes the Difference
Legislator and longtime activist Leung Kwok-hung protested last month in front of Hong Kong Chief Executive Donald Tsang, who was about to deliver a policy address.
Legislator and longtime activist Leung Kwok-hung protested last month in front of Hong Kong Chief Executive Donald Tsang, who was about to deliver a policy address. (Associated Press)

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By Maureen Fan
Washington Post Foreign Service
Thursday, November 27, 2008; Page A16

HONG KONG -- As soon as legislator Leung Kwok-hung joined the handful of demonstrators milling outside the Hong Kong Jockey Club on a recent day, their protest sprang to life.

Instantly recognizable by his waist-length ponytail, Leung grabbed a bullhorn and began to harangue the Sichuan provincial government officials gathered inside. The club, once a bastion of British colonial rule, was hosting a VIP luncheon to thank racing fans for their contributions to earthquake relief.

"Release Huang Qi!" Leung shouted under the watchful eye of police and club security guards. He was referring to the Chinese dissident jailed after campaigning for parents who'd blamed their children's deaths in the quake on shoddy school construction. "Respect human rights! Severely punish corrupt officials!"

Such outbursts are not usually tolerated on the Chinese mainland. But here in Hong Kong, the chain-smoking democracy activist and constant thorn in Beijing's side has perfected the art of the drive-by protest. Leung's well-rehearsed demonstrations -- many on behalf of the poor and the working class -- illustrate the differences in political culture that remain between Hong Kong and the mainland, even though both answer to Beijing. More than a decade after the British formally handed the island over to the Chinese, Hong Kong residents still enjoy a greater degree of free speech than mainlanders under China's "one country, two systems" policy.

Authorities here generally treat Leung respectfully. Even members of Hong Kong's famously capitalist middle class have come to appreciate him for daring to say no to the government, although some find his tactics tiresome.
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Now, an economic downturn and Beijing's determination to stave off democratization efforts in Hong Kong have combined to make the self-described Marxist revolutionary more relevant than ever. Leung did better than expected in September's Legislative Council elections. He received fewer votes than he did four years ago, but he comfortably kept his seat in a district contested by 29 candidates from seven political parties, just a month after a wave of pro-Beijing Olympic spirit washed over the territory.

Leung's success as a member of the radical League of Social Democrats -- and the success of other grass-roots candidates -- has surprised Hong Kong's establishment. But it comes amid anxiety among the city's 7 million residents over the economy, as well as growing dissatisfaction with the central government.

Leung, 52 and known to everyone as "Long Hair," has vowed not to cut his hair until Beijing apologizes for the Tiananmen Square massacre of 1989. His smoke-filled office is filled with Che Guevara paraphernalia, and he is often seen in his trademark T-shirt featuring the Argentine revolutionary.

"I love him so much," said Wong Kingyan, a 26-year-old trading company employee. "He doesn't wear a suit or a tie, he has a kind of modern and free spirit, and he says what he wants. When I see his protests on TV, I feel he really cares for ordinary people and wants to do something for us."

The son of a servant in a colonial British household, Leung learned English by listening to the BBC. His mother took him to participate in left-wing union activities when he was young, and in middle school he joined a Maoist student movement. After graduating from high school, he worked as a bartender, a laborer and a car washer. Leung then joined a political group, the Revolutionary Marxists, which helped him land his first jail term in 1979 for organizing a rally in front of the official New China News Agency. He served a month, for unlawful assembly.

Leung was a well-known street activist for two decades before he decided to run for the council in 2000. He lost that race, but was elected in 2004, an outcome that surprised many. "Leung, with no background or connections to the elite, is neither a tycoon nor a barrister with a degree from a top-tier school in the U.S. or Europe," the Beijing-based intellectual Yu Jie wrote in a recent essay, noting Leung's election by a large margin. "Behind this miracle lies the people's aversion to autocracy."

During the government-led Olympic celebrations, Leung got himself ejected from the main equestrian venue for holding up a sign that read "No Dictatorship" and shouting "End one-party rule!"

Earlier this month, as Leung climbed aboard streetcars and walked through the city's open-air food stalls, people smiled and waved, calling out his nickname and asking for news. Occasionally, they also heckled him. "Some say, 'You're a traitor,' " Leung said. "It's politics."

Many in Hong Kong say they prefer a less antagonistic approach to Beijing than Leung's. Chen Kangsong, 48, a tea-shop owner, said he liked Leung's opinions but disagreed with his tactics.

"It's not easy for us ordinary people to make a living," Chen said. "So I welcome his help. But I don't like his style very much. The protests are superficial, trying to draw people's attention. If I were him, I'd use the time to do something more useful."

Leung is known as a champion of the working class, but "rich and middle-class people also like him," said Chinese University political scientist Ivan Choy Chi-keung. "In addition to the economic crisis, Hong Kong people are less and less satisfied with the politics of the current government."

Polls show a drop in support for Hong Kong Chief Executive Donald Tsang, Choy said. This year, Beijing announced its long-awaited decision on Hong Kong's request for expanded democratic rights: no direct popular elections or universal suffrage until at least 2017, and then only after candidates are approved by the central government.

"Most Hong Kong citizens want earlier elections," said Lam Wai-man, an assistant professor of politics and public administration at Hong Kong University. "If the government can't reach consensus on granting democracy, Long Hair will gain many more supporters in the future."

Police and Jockey Club officials understand Leung's appeal. Leung had actually been invited to the Jockey Club lunch Nov. 11 as a member of the Legislative Council. Once it was clear he intended to protest, however, he was barred.

"I am part of the community they should listen to," he said of the mainland visitors. "They want money from the Hong Kong people -- they shouldn't just come here like VIPs having a banquet and ignore our opinions about corruption and political repression."

In the middle of his protest, Leung managed to get a Sichuan representative to come out and accept three written complaints against corruption. Minutes later, the bullhorns and signs were packed up, and the protesters and reporters dispersed. Relieved club officials and security guards retreated into the clubhouse.

Researcher Zhang Jie contributed to this report.

嘔電 好醜惡 很難看

Revisiting the Chinese milk crisis

About 2 months after it was publicized that melamine was causing thousands of babies to be sick, Sanlu is near collapse with many of its plants being sold and Fonterra, the New Zealand dairy giant, has sold much of its stake of Sanlu and looking at Sanlu as great lost in millions of investment. After 2 months, I still get disgusted at what happened at Sanlu, the Chinese government, the corrupted officials and those who put melamine into the milk. It really is disgusting and a shame. Sanlu was the biggest and most trusted dairy brand in China. People, millions of people trusted it, parents feed their babies and children Sanlu milk powder formula and other milk products thinking that they gave the best to their love ones, but no. The disgusting thing is that Chinese can't even trust their own brands that were controlled by the government. In another word, people can't even trust their government to make sure its people gets safe food to consume. What the heck is that? When Fonterra found out, it tried to get the milk off the shelf, recalled. Fonterra invested hundred of millions into Sanlu, thinking that it was a safe and profitable investment with up to 40% ownership of Sanlu. However, Sanlu was unresponsive. Being one of the biggest companies in New Zealand, Fonterra urged its government, the New Zealand government to talk to the Chinese government. It did and the Chinese government was unresponsive. There were evidents of a covering up campaign. Some Chinese officials were sacked and news editors struggled with holding their news reporters back from the story because of pressure from the Chinese government to keep it down until the end of the Olympics.

A short nap and a filling lunch really put the energy back into me...at least for a little while.

Lo was hard to understand but I think the leaders also were responsible for bring up concerns or topics to talk about.
However, he has to clamp down on his emo. I am not sure if he notices it but his emo really affect the people around and the
I am behind schedule by about a week or more.

I think as a relatively young person, humility and self-reflection is extremely important because there are simply too much to learn in this period to be stubborn or shutted off. The problems now is that many people are very stubborn, overly subjective, rather narrow-minded and dominant in their worldview regardless of all the different issues and available solutions and information out there. I don't want to be like that.

嘔電 好醜惡 很難看

Revisiting the Chinese milk crisis

About 2 months after it was publicized that melamine was causing thousands of babies to be sick, Sanlu is near collapse with many of its plants being sold and Fonterra, the New Zealand dairy giant, has sold much of its stake of Sanlu and looking at Sanlu as great lost in millions of investment. After 2 months, I still get disgusted at what happened at Sanlu, the Chinese government, the corrupted officials and those who put melamine into the milk. It really is disgusting and a shame. Sanlu was the biggest and most trusted dairy brand in China. People, millions of people trusted it, parents feed their babies and children Sanlu milk powder formula and other milk products thinking that they gave the best to their love ones, but no. The disgusting thing is that Chinese can't even trust their own brands that were controlled by the government. In another word, people can't even trust their government to make sure its people gets safe food to consume. What the heck is that? When Fonterra found out, it tried to get the milk off the shelf, recalled. Fonterra invested hundred of millions into Sanlu, thinking that it was a safe and profitable investment with up to 40% ownership of Sanlu. However, Sanlu was unresponsive. Being one of the biggest companies in New Zealand, Fonterra urged its government, the New Zealand government to talk to the Chinese government. It did and the Chinese government was unresponsive. There were evidents of a covering up campaign. Some Chinese officials were sacked and news editors struggled with holding their news reporters back from the story because of pressure from the Chinese government to keep it down until the end of the Olympics.

A short nap and a filling lunch really put the energy back into me...at least for a little while.

Lo was hard to understand but I think the leaders also were responsible for bring up concerns or topics to talk about.
However, he has to clamp down on his emo. I am not sure if he notices it but his emo really affect the people around and the
I am behind schedule by about a week or more.

I think as a relatively young person, humility and self-reflection is extremely important because there are simply too much to learn in this period to be stubborn or shutted off. The problems now is that many people are very stubborn, overly subjective, rather narrow-minded and dominant in their worldview regardless of all the different issues and available solutions and information out there. I don't want to be like that.

Geneva
26 September 2008
I think I am losing brain power.

vince

Sometimes I feel like as if I have two jobs. One is my real job at the publishing company and the other one at church. At the publishing company I am being paid to be used. At church, I often feel like being used and I hope that I am being used by God and not by men with self-serving intentions. That is what I am afraid of at church, being used.

Idea: Cone Speakers
Speakers that only emit quality sound at the specific direction you point them with. They are like headphones you don't have to plug in your ears. Highly portable and convenient.

We need to cultivate leaders and nurture believers with heart to serve others.

The problem with liberal studies is that I am not sure what it is suppose to be. It's like having a bunch of jigsaw puzzles and trying to put it all together without having the puzzle box cover for reference. Oh, it can also be said that I do have a cover to refer to but it changes every once in a while.

People have telling me that I look, "worn out," "dead," and "Hao Chan (好殘 ,very damaged)" and I was surprised and felt offended at first but realized that it's true. I haven't been getting enough sleep for at least 2-3 weeks now and been under some stress. It became quite rare for me to go back home for dinner for the past few weeks. Probably only 1 night per week not counting the weekends.

《海角七號》（之一）
2008-11-23

【明報專訊】請勿犬儒。

這樣說，是因為好像愈來愈多人提出以下相類的疑問：《海角七號》真有這麼好嗎？影片值得這樣巨大的成功嗎？是台灣觀眾的過敏（過激？）反應而已？就連我的學生，也這樣追問它的導演魏德聖：「你覺得你的電影是商業片還是文藝片？」顯然，他沒看到這個問題背後的弔詭：如果不是因為影片現在的賣座（而且是超乎想像中的賣座）情形，他會覺得（甚至想過）影片是部商業片嗎？

對我來說，無論從哪個角度來看，《海》片都絕對deserves它目前的成功（即使它超越了比例──但我們有必要凡事都用量化作最終的原則嗎？抑或其實是對於成功，特別是對於一直都渴望但卻沒得到的成功，我們都禁不住會有這樣那樣的jealousy？）。很簡單（但最重要）的一個理由：電影工作者在背後所付出的，都印刻在每格膠卷上。再說清楚點，是它的每個畫面，都是電影工作者最忠誠的表現（對得起電影，也對得起觀眾），並且俱有所表現。

你也許會說：電影不本來就是應該這樣拍的嗎？沒錯，只是事實不一樣。在過去很長的一段日子裏，不只在台灣，其實還包括香港，起碼有為數不少的電影，不論有沒有資源，都沒有好好的拍。《海》片最大的優點，就是即使在資源最匱乏的情况下，它依然堅持對自己的要求，不肯退縮。它沒有特別很大的野心，但也沒有因為客觀條件的限制而處處遷就，甚至削足就履。當我第一次聽到影片的製作費高達台幣四千多萬（港幣一千多萬）時（而且還是大部分靠舉債借貸回來的），我其實已嚇了一跳（魏德聖後來想我們證實總成本為五千萬）——即使在香港，上千萬製作費的電影也鳳毛麟角——而且那是一部非動作、沒有卡士的文藝片（我是樂意把它這樣classified）。我第一次（在台灣）看完影片後，這樣的想法更強烈：這其實是部製作和拍攝都相當複雜的電影（以為它「只」是一部輕易簡單的文藝片，而沒看出它複雜的地方者，均不足論）。但製作者由頭到尾都全力以赴，而且控制得宜。這就不簡單了。

魏德聖說：每次在影片出現最嚴重的（財政）危機時，我take的鏡頭的次數就最多，非要拍到我最滿意的take才肯罷休。因為我一定要拿最好的東西給人家看，這樣才能證明自己。如果因為條件限制而拍的不好，不就是證明了別人看不起你是正確的嗎？

啟示其實來自自己。

舒琪

What can us, individual do during the so-called "financial tsunami"? We are no federal reserve bank or the IMF but I think there are some little things we can do. For those of us with stable jobs and can afford it, I say continue to spend money and buy stuff. For those with reliable income (e.g., government jobs, teachers and educators with tenure and etc) and little risk of losing their jobs, now is the best time for bargain shopping as the holiday season closes in and bad economy prompting mega sales at shops and department stores. Spend at least what you would a year ago when economy was relatively much stronger (at least on the surface).

Controlling temper is very important because blowing off actually might cause a lot of regrets. Need to know when to be angry (and show it) and when not to.

Since the past week I started on a new assignment to work on the new LS textbook with the chapter on the economy. It's not a topic I am too familiar with yet I have to make myself knowlegable in it very quickly. While working on the manuscript the past few days, I felt like I was in the dark without a sure footing on what is expected and what the finished products was to be. On Friday, we had a meeting and the format was being changed again. To say the truth, I wonder if we have very clear idea or vision of what this text is suppose to be. I actually wonder why EDB even put out a LS curriculum for. EDB's curriculum, which we have to follow, is actually quite "liberal", and "airy". Personally, I think EDB (the government) is trying to teach kids commeonsense on the one hand and to channel (narrowing ) the thinking of young people on the other hand. It's a contradiction (as in how the big slogans and policies of the Communist Party of China contradict themselves). It is true that Hong Kong kids need commonsense, somehow our cultures and society deprive them of it despite all the emphasis on education, learning and all kind of education and development activities avaliable to the masses now. It probably has a lot to do with the parents.

I just realized, we have no real leader in the deacon board. Wong is an incapable and unreceptive person that lacks intelligence and lack character. Wei is self-serving, jealous, has poor spiritual base, lack intelligence, spread rumors and manipulative. Hung is incapable, foolish, blind, ignorant, self-centered and basically useless.

I probably need an organizer.


I realize the manuscript of my writer basically copied text from a book or in with worst term, plagiarized from page 176 of Global Transformations by David Held under the subtitle, 3.5 Historical Forms of Trade Globalization: the Transformation of Global Trade. The wordings are almost exact. From Held: "In these respects individual firms are confronted by a potential global marketplace while they simultaneously face direct competition from foreign firms in their own domestic markets." From the manuscript I have, "In these respects, individual firms are confronted by (a potential) global marketplace while they simultaneously face direct competition from foreign firms in their own domestic markets." Humm, I think they are actually the same with exact wording. I found out when I searched "potential global marketplace" on google becaues I don't know what the heck it is. (I know what "potential", "global" and "marketplace" are separately but I have little idea when thay are meshed together as a term.) That's pretty BSing because, the manuscript is suppose to be for high schoolers and what I have here is "plagiarized" text from a college level academic textbook. College students would need a professor to guide this type of text and I would need one too and high schoolers would need more help than that. So, the task before me is: how do I translate this plagiarized college level stuff to high school level reading introducing globalization when I am barely learning economic globalization myself. Confusing isn't it? And yea, I also have to "un-plagiarize" the manuscript while transforming into high school text.

3-4
Primary 1
Year 3
Year 7
7th Grade
9th Grade
Sophomore
Junior
Work 1
Work 3

About 2,000 years ago, there was a guy who hung out around the Judea province of the ancient Roman Empire. His name was Jesus and did some crazy stuff, especially from the point of view of 21st century human beings. Jesus provided free health care, eye care, facial, dermatologic care. People who had eye problem, skin problem went to him and he cured them for free, and for life. He turned water into first-rate wine for no money.

I think we are facing a breakdown in social order and familial vales. Actually, this is not new, it probably started back 30 years ago. But now I see how mistakes decades ago is affecting social values and structure, and organizations NOW. On buses and train, many young people no longer give up their seats for the elderly, pregnant women and others in need. Worst case is that there is no notion of giving up seats at all in the younger generation, and that is depressing. Basically, kids are being spoiled. And they are very self-centered and snobby. Take one real life example for instance. A very tire mom and her two kids, a daughter and a son. The son was sitting on the seat and his older sister asked, "Can I sit for a moment? My legs are tire." The little boy just plain out ignored the sister. A

Liberal Studies is weird, I am actually not sure if the EDB knows what it is doing with Liberal Studies. The teachers are somewhat confused and I am also a bit confused. What is it that we are trying to do? Are we going to teach them how to live? Teach them moral values? Citizen rights? I think the intention is to provide a certain level of citizen education, provide a framework (maybe a narrower one) for them to think and see the world, and to give them some commonsense (isn't that suppose to be learned through lessons in life? Not from textbooks or the education system). As one teacher exclaimed, Liberal Studies is a "multi-headed monster." The government (EDB) should not be the provider of values for students (the next generation of Hong Kongers). We need some separation of the governemt from messing, again, with our education system. A newly appointed co-head of the Education Department proposed the use of digital textbook. At a parent-school meeting, he was hit with criticism over how the government changes its education policy (and system) over and over again, and how parents and schools just can not keep up. The angry parent furthur asked, "Does the government know what it is doing?" I believe the answer is "No." This co or vice-head of the Education Department (EDB) has no experience whatsoever in education. He is quite young and his last job (only job with real experience) is at the Hong Kong Jockey Club, which is like the official lottery and gambling company of Hong Kong. That reminds me a lot of Michael "Brownie" Brown, who was in charge of FEMA when Katrina hit New Orleans. As we all know, Brownie's previous job was at the International Arabian Horse Association.

I think as a person, I just get pissed at disrespectful comment. That's actually quite natural. I probably say some disrespectful things and if not, in an emotional, angry kind of tone of voice which I can't help it. I used to be quite and take the abuse, but no more. Now, I go back at it and let part of my anger show. I try not to be misunderstood and try to make things as clear as possible to leave no room for misunderstanding. Also another thing is that I can't stop myself from getting red when mad and embarrassed. I can't hide myself.

主觀
subjective
主見
ideas of one's own; a definite view; will\

理性
rationality

意識;觀念,見識,辨別力

Are we on the same page?
Our identity. Are we a small group based or fellowship?
We are not a small group directed church.
1.Small groups are not run in the format of small group directed church. (e.g. No worship, message directed Bible study, dedicated prayer meeting, emphasis on growth)
2. It is a fellowship, we have big group before splitting into small groups.
3. We don't have enough mature and spiritual strong small group leaders to do small group the way small group churches do.

We need better organization and succession of leaders. We need a framework.

We can't foster a culture of gossip. Need to discuss a way to stop it. We need small group leader training. Need close guidance.

People need to be aware that we have a mountain to climb. We can't afford to sit an stay as we are. We need to grow (spirtually) and mature fast.

Weird boss

I thought we were having a meeting at 11am so I was all getting prepared, nervous and quickly read over material and worned myself out but now it's noon and she isn't even at work. She called to say she was coming back a moment ago. Well, I like to nap a bit during lunch time so goodbye to lunch nap today. I was thinking about doing my tax return also.

Every now and then, I would think of what happened this Sunday. Sunny proposed to his long time girlfriend Annie after their baptism with the whole church (at least those in attendance) as witnesses. I wonder if I would ever do something like that.

I am like so freaking unconscious, just kidding. But I am dreaming half the time while working. I even dreamed about correcting punctuation twice before realizing that I was dreaming about it and had not correct it.

I was editing an exercising book and I had to take "new" off the text with the resignation of Japanese Prime Minister Fukuda Yasuo several months ago. I exhaled, "Japan has 3 prime ministers in the span of a year" to myself.

I am now a paid soccer (football) player. Haha. I get HK$30 a match playing for my company. It's more of a transportation compensation.
Can I ever find something that I would wake up and feel motivated to do.

I think my superior is gonna die. She haven't been looking right since ... last week? She didn't look well as she came in late this morning.

I think I am just being given random assignment before they fire me. i have been doing stupid and meaningless tasks like adding quetions to testbank and study questions. I think it is a clear warning sign that I should start looking for another job.

Colleagues are leaving one by one like...flies.

I am now a paid soccer (football) player. Haha. I get HK$30 a match playing for my company. It's more of a transportation compensation.
Can I ever find something that I would wake up and feel motivated to do.

I think my superior is gonna die. She haven't been looking right since ... last week? She didn't look well as she came in late this morning.

I think I am just being given random assignment before they fire me. i have been doing stupid and meaningless tasks like adding quetions to testbank and study questions. I think it is a clear warning sign that I should start looking for another job.

Colleagues are leaving one by one like...flies.

I am now a paid soccer (football) player. Haha. I get HK$30 a match playing for my company. It's more of a transportation compensation.
Can I ever find something that I would wake up and feel motivated to do.

I think my superior is gonna die. She haven't been looking right since ... last week? She didn't look well as she came in late this morning.

I think I am just being given random assignment before they fire me. i have been doing stupid and meaningless tasks like adding quetions to testbank and study questions. I think it is a clear warning sign that I should start looking for another job.

Colleagues are leaving one by one like...flies.

Becoming Hong Kong. It is true that ever since I have been to Hong Kong, my food selection has been rather limited. In Southern California where I can choose from a variety of food from different cultures (Korean, Japanese, American, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Thai, Indian, Vietnamese and etc) within a 10 minutes reach. No so in Hong Kong. Yes, there are Indian, Mexican, Brazilian and Vietnamese food but they are not very popular here. You really have to make it a mission to go to one of those places. I don't think there is a Mexican restaurant in the whole of Shatin. Some of the Hong Kong cafe Western restaurant might serve Mexican food occasionally but that's rather rare. There are a few Indian restaurants in my area but they are not around every corner. You would have to look for them and also, I don't know too many people who like Indian food. Some local people seems to be allergic to a lot of foreign food, especially Indian, Pakistani and Middle-eastern food. People here can't take too much cheese. Some of them can't stand the taste of strong cheese, goat and sheep. I actually think contemporary Hong Kongers are picky eater. They eat raw fish from sushi but can't eat steam fish blaming it on the smell of fish!?! Some don't eat green onion because because they think the inside of the green onion is hard to clean and thus dirty?!! Vietnames food here are not authentic. The soap is no good. The beef is not fresh. The pho is Hong Kong styled here to suit Hong Kong people which kills its distinctive taste. There are authetic Thai food here but again, you have to look for them at Kowloon City and other places. Most of the Thai food are not so authetic and are Hong Kongized.


I don't get how recently, the lay-out person would question my correction on the paper. She never did that before.


I was actually comtemplating whether to show up or not. Found out my superior told a sick leave for the morning.


I usually get upset and bothered on Sunday because of church and then by Thursday, I will be alright and then Friday comes again and I would start to be in battle mode again. I understand how this is one of the reasons some people don't wished to be too involved in church.

All the recent posts are about the negative side of church, being PK and so on, but I think I need to talk about the other side too.

Although it's tough at times and that I sometimes feel like I am in a battlefield at church, it's not all bad.

I do enjoy fellowship, hanging out with my brothers and sisters at church, joking around, eating, Bible study, serving with my fellow brothers and sisters in different ministries (children fellowship, being part of youth ministry by playing basketball with high schoolers, choir, leading Bible studies, planning camp for fellowship and etc). I enjoy spending time with my brothers and sisters, talking with them young and old. I actually forget about all the negative things going on Friday night as I was talking and joking a bit with my brothers and sisters at church. That's why it suppose to be like at church. And in serving, althought there are arguments and different points of view sometimes, they help us improve the ministries and comradeship is formed.

The difficulties that we go throught together make us stronger. We don't diss one another, we sharpen one another by serving, discussing different topics and etc.

Many months ago, a bunch of us went to play soccer together with another church and afterward we had hotpot at Sha Kok Village. We had a great time, we were able to talk about our future, the things we are facing and afterward we had a nice stroll walking back to the railway station next to the Shen Mun River. We often talked about and wish to do that again sometimes.

Can we all be like that?

There aer a lot of people going and coming recently. I am not sure if it is related to the financial crisis or not but 2 from the Chinese section just left last week and one of them didn't even offer the traditional farewell cake. It actually all started with the Chinese section, usually, those who passed probation would buy all the editoral stuff "tea sets." I did that with my colleagues when we passed our probation. It stopped somehow and now the farewell cake is gone too. It's just sad. I don't know what is happening.

It seems that one of my co-workers is hinting that I might be leaving. I see that some people have distanced themselves from me, actually just one or two people. And I can somewhat tell that maybe people are really warning me. My boss told me to work faster and stop going over the deadline and forgetting my magnetic card. My superior has been giving some of my work to other editors. The graphic design manager has been saying unrespecting things in a joking manner. But he has been going a bit far and crossing the line lately.

I had to ask for work today and my superior gave me some assignment from my colleague. Very weird.

All the recent posts are about the negative side of church, being PK and so on, but I think I need to talk about the other side too.

Although it's tough at times and that I sometimes feel like I am in a battlefield at church, it's not all bad.

I do enjoy fellowship, hanging out with my brothers and sisters at church, joking around, eating, Bible study, serving with my fellow brothers and sisters in different ministries (children fellowship, being part of youth ministry by playing basketball with high schoolers, choir, leading Bible studies, planning camp for fellowship and etc). I enjoy spending time with my brothers and sisters, talking with them young and old. I actually forget about all the negative things going on Friday night as I was talking and joking a bit with my brothers and sisters at church. That's why it suppose to be like at church. And in serving, althought there are arguments and different points of view sometimes, they help us improve the ministries and comradeship is formed.

The difficulties that we go throught together make us stronger. We don't diss one another, we sharpen one another by serving, discussing different topics and etc.

Many months ago, a bunch of us went to play soccer together with another church and afterward we had hotpot at Sha Kok Village. We had a great time, we were able to talk about our future, the things we are facing and afterward we had a nice stroll walking back to the railway station next to the Shen Mun River. We often talked about and wish to do that again sometimes.

Can we all be like that?

There aer a lot of people going and coming recently. I am not sure if it is related to the financial crisis or not but 2 from the Chinese section just left last week and one of them didn't even offer the traditional farewell cake. It actually all started with the Chinese section, usually, those who passed probation would buy all the editoral stuff "tea sets." I did that with my colleagues when we passed our probation. It stopped somehow and now the farewell cake is gone too. It's just sad. I don't know what is happening.

It seems that one of my co-workers is hinting that I might be leaving. I see that some people have distanced themselves from me, actually just one or two people. And I can somewhat tell that maybe people are really warning me. My boss told me to work faster and stop going over the deadline and forgetting my magnetic card. My superior has been giving some of my work to other editors. The graphic design manager has been saying unrespecting things in a joking manner. But he has been going a bit far and crossing the line lately.

I had to ask for work today and my superior gave me some assignment from my colleague. Very weird.

All the recent posts are about the negative side of church, being PK and so on, but I think I need to talk about the other side too.

Although it's tough at times and that I sometimes feel like I am in a battlefield at church, it's not all bad.

I do enjoy fellowship, hanging out with my brothers and sisters at church, joking around, eating, Bible study, serving with my fellow brothers and sisters in different ministries (children fellowship, being part of youth ministry by playing basketball with high schoolers, choir, leading Bible studies, planning camp for fellowship and etc). I enjoy spending time with my brothers and sisters, talking with them young and old. I actually forget about all the negative things going on Friday night as I was talking and joking a bit with my brothers and sisters at church. That's why it suppose to be like at church. And in serving, althought there are arguments and different points of view sometimes, they help us improve the ministries and comradeship is formed.

The difficulties that we go throught together make us stronger. We don't diss one another, we sharpen one another by serving, discussing different topics and etc.

Many months ago, a bunch of us went to play soccer together with another church and afterward we had hotpot at Sha Kok Village. We had a great time, we were able to talk about our future, the things we are facing and afterward we had a nice stroll walking back to the railway station next to the Shen Mun River. We often talked about and wish to do that again sometimes.

Can we all be like that?

There aer a lot of people going and coming recently. I am not sure if it is related to the financial crisis or not but 2 from the Chinese section just left last week and one of them didn't even offer the traditional farewell cake. It actually all started with the Chinese section, usually, those who passed probation would buy all the editoral stuff "tea sets." I did that with my colleagues when we passed our probation. It stopped somehow and now the farewell cake is gone too. It's just sad. I don't know what is happening.

It seems that one of my co-workers is hinting that I might be leaving. I see that some people have distanced themselves from me, actually just one or two people. And I can somewhat tell that maybe people are really warning me. My boss told me to work faster and stop going over the deadline and forgetting my magnetic card. My superior has been giving some of my work to other editors. The graphic design manager has been saying unrespecting things in a joking manner. But he has been going a bit far and crossing the line lately.

I had to ask for work today and my superior gave me some assignment from my colleague. Very weird.

Holly f*%#ing shit! Chinese version made a major change and then changed back to the how it was and it took me a lot of effort to make the changes. Shit, now what the heck is going on. I just hate this, why can't they just make up their mind and stop wasting time, hard work and my braincell. What the heck were they thinking?

vulnerbility

Strange text:

To stablize the society from chaos and instability in 1921, the CPC started political movements from the bottom up in an attempt to start a revolution.

Lenin and his gans didn't overthrow the Czar's monarchy, no, they didn't, they only established a communist government instead.

Are we intellectuals?

Details of Nationalists are taken away
Aggressiveness of CPC lessen, and there is a trend to neutralize some of the more radical, extreme, negative actions of CPC. Some items are not discussed.

檢討教科書問題的「五不宜」/出版社總編輯 李家駒
2008-10-23

圖：資深出版界人士建議政府推行教科書電子化之前有五點要注意 （資料圖片）

課本及電子學習資源發展專責小組（以下簡稱小組）即將成立，它集合不同界別人士，集思廣益，討論未來教材的供應及發展，構思是值得認同的。筆者支持亦關注此事，不僅在於自己是出版從業員，更在於自己曾當過教師，又有很多現職教師的朋友和工作夥伴。這種雙重經驗和體會，令自己對行業狀況、教師訴求和學校運作都有一定的理解。教科書在現時的教育環境和機制下，關於它的供應問題，遠比想像複雜，亦與本港的教育生態密切相關。若未能理清問題的核心和根本，以客觀和公正態度處理，難言對症下藥，最終不單傷害了出版整個行業，更對學校、教師和學生產生不良的影響。嚴重些說，或會延及一代人！以下依據自己的經驗及所思，在小組成立之前，嘗試提出「五不宜」，供小組專家及當局參考。

（一）不宜忘記：過去的探討

討論教科書的供應和價格，非今日才有。政府、教育工作者、消委會和出版商會多年來曾嘗試探討不同方案，最終均未有成果。例如，消委會在2001年9月研究不同地區的教科書送審制度，曾提過改變現行教科書供求制度的建議，即由中央供應（該報告仍刊登於消委會網站：http://www.consumer.org.hk/website/ws_chi/competition_issues/competition_studies/list.html）。建議最終未被接納，原因包括學校團體普遍不表支持、政府不想以公帑直接支付予某行業而有違財務原則等。其實，政府多年來亦曾與行業商討，是否應該將教科書和教材分開定價，後者由學校（其實是政府）購買，有關建議一直未有進展。時移世易，情況是否已有所改變？考慮是否有所不同？討論過的建議，考慮過的提議，以及參與者的誠意，都不宜忘記。小組探討問題前，應先充分總結這些經驗和方案，作為未來討論時的基礎和前提。

（二）不宜簡化：本港的特殊情況

其他地方的經驗雖可借鑑，卻不宜不理本港的特殊情況而將之照搬，應充分評估其他經驗在本港的可行性。例如，之前不少討論本港教科書問題時，都嘗引用美國的現況，特別是美國大學教科書的電子化發展（有興趣可參閱網站：www.maketextbookaffordable.org），進而支持教科書大規模的電子化，並由政府及大學學者牽頭，製作免費的教材，供大眾享用。暫不論美國大學教科書電子化的成效，須知現時討論的是本港中小學教科書問題，還要充分考慮本港特有的教育環境，包括：生存在大學資助委員會制度下的大學教授是否願意參與不計出版成果的教材編寫、中學教師一周約有30教節沉重工作量下是否有餘力編寫教材、本港傾重考評的學教文化等。至於其他問題，如：電子教材是否比印刷教材更便宜？程式及設計費用、會否造成學習數碼差異？學校已有具備足夠配套？教師是否已有充足的準備等？都宜周詳考慮和充分諮詢，不宜簡化和忽略本港的特殊性。（三）不宜輕視：範式轉變

不

論本港教學是否過於依賴教科書，教科書是教與學的重要學習材料，應無大爭議。現時討論如何改進教科書的供應和出版方式等問題，勢將觸及長久以來的教與學模式和習慣。例如：教科書的一個主要作用是將課程內容依學習的進度編排，就算是不同教師和學生都有文本可依，令教與學容易規範化和統一化；遇上學習能力和興趣有異時，則靠教師因應個別學生情況而作出教學適調。這種長期而有序的教與學模式構成了已有的教學範式。改變以電子形式的教學取代，是改變了教學的範式，是一種徹底的革命。筆者雖一直推動電子出版，亦知道本港部分先導學校在電子教學上已取得可喜的成功經驗，但若要全面推廣到所有學校，宜充分評估可行性。現時不少評論談到電子教科書，都已談及這點，意味著部分教育界和社會人士已留意到問題所在。此外，長期以來社會的專業分工，出版專於出版，教學專於教學，改變社會已有的專業分工，意味著資源的重新分配，會導致另一種的範式轉變。舉凡種種，實不宜輕視。

（四）不宜迴避：教育的結構性問題

業界一直已指出，教科書供應問題是教育結構性問題的一環。教科書的供應和定價問題，因教改推行而進一步激化。因此，探討教科書種種問題時，不宜迴避背後的本港教育結構性問題。一言蔽之，本港教育和學校情況是：普遍大班教學（中學）、教師教時多而無暇備課、側重考評而衍生操練文化、教改鼓勵教師持續評估和學生要有不同的學習經歷，等等，教科書出版社除為教師提供教科書外，亦須協助提供有利教學的教材和支援，讓教改的理念更易落實。因此，現時的教育出版社的定位，已不單是「內容供應者」，同時是「服務供應者」。學生要學好須靠老師點撥，老師要教學則要借助出版社這合作夥伴。不能否認是一些較有經驗的老師可獨當一面，但普遍的情況如何，不宜忽略。假如社會認為再不需要教育出版社扮演類似的功能，哪應由誰來代替，以維持現時或比現時更好的教學支援？學習革命早已來臨，教學理念業已改變；教育是需要投資，問題是由誰來支付？因此，當考慮教科書供應涉及的問題時，千萬不宜迴避它背後觸及的教育結構性問題。

（五）不宜全盤否定：未討論先有結論

教科書和教育出版社的教育功能，亦即它的價值，跟討論它的價格同樣重要。本港人口少，近年出生和學生人數持續下降，加上出版不如其他行業可以容易發展海外市場（因大陸及台灣都設有不同的保護制度），教育出版只是一個產值不大，從來只能服務本港學界的行業。過去社會對教科書出版存在不少誤解，例如：年年改版、濫用粉紙令書價高企、不肯分冊出版等，醜化了行業形象。雖然業界本身仍很多地方需要改善，說到怎樣，也不應淪落如此光景，因教科書價格問題成為教育轉型的「代罪羔羊」。現時在社會高度關注，集思廣益之下，聚焦於教科書出版，可鞭策行業自我完善和改進，更貼近公眾利益，亦可令公眾對教科書出版加深認識，增強良性的溝通。在小組成立前夕，提出以上的意見，祈望小組及當局能充分考慮教育、學校、教師和學習的實際情況，實事求是，作出公平的判斷和建議。切忌全盤否定，更忌未經討論先有結論，這顯然非為行業之福，更非為下一代之福。


Fake shoes

Some time ago, there was a closing-down sale at a shoe store in New Town Plaza. I was looking for a pair of shoes for work and so I went in. The Hush Puppies were on sale

I have been wondering what I am really good for. What am I good at? Editing is definitely not something I am good at. I am much better at writing than editing, and I write slow. Am I out of touch with myself?

I remember doing those career tests back in high school and then during the summers when I was taking PCC classes. The last one I did was just before I left for Hong Kong in the summer of 2006 when I was taking TV production class. I enjoyed PCC really. I find it to be a place of good, practical educational institution that teaches you skills instead of just theory. It actually trains you for a job. I learned a lot from PCC and not just from the teachers and classes but also of pursuit in life, career. I realized that individuals don't have to go along the same "standard" path to suceed. For those rare times that I was able to take PCC classes, I really enjoyed them. Partly because I was learning things that I wanted to learn. Even at UCR, I would check the PCC class schedule every once in a while to see if there were classes I could take. I also looked into RCC and community college at Riverside.

I have some regret, I feel that I somewhat limited myself in going to UCR. The blame goes to the culture and learning environment that I was in, the expectation from parents and others, and to my own philosophy at the time because of the bubble I was in (much to do with the culture at school). At the time, regretably. I decided to go to UCR, a four year college, because I figured that with all the struggles I went through with the aim of going into a good UC schools (a goal highly influenced by the environment), I might as well go. The second reason being that I wanted to experience college dorm life like every other college kids. That's why I didn't opted for PCC which probably opened more doors for me while giving as good GE education for much less. A third reason that is somewhat related to the second one was that I wanted to belong to somewhere. Part of me wanted to leave home and start anew, I didn't enjoy high school. I wanted a new start. The last two reasons were true to myself and legit as I think about it, and the first was stupid. I should've investigated about what was best for my career goal, things I wanted to do in life, PCC couldn've opened so many doors for me with much room to explore along with giving me a cheap good education.

I get afriad at times when it seems like I have nothing to do or not sure what I am suppose to be doing.

Multinational corporations are increasingly seen as excessively big and powerful, and as
having dramatically increased in size and power. This perception has led to the view that
the big corporations are threatening democratic institutions of the nation-states and that
they pervert the cultural and social fabric of countries.

The starting point of all these analyses is a double claim. First, multinational corporations
are very big. The most popular way to express this is that among the 100 biggest
“economies” in the world 51 are corporations and only 49 are countries, giving the
impression that large corporations are now larger than the average nation-state (see
Anderson and Cavanagh(2000) who were the first to use these numbers).

The second claim is that the size of multinationals is greater than ever. It is not difficult to
find statistics that will buttress this claim. Indeed, measured in the dollar value of their
sales and assets, multinational companies are bigger than ever.

As you get older, things you want can no longer be bought, at least with money that is.

"They'd have meetings and Steve would be horribly offended he couldn't get to the song he wanted in less than three pushes of a button," Knauss said. "We'd get orders: 'Steve doesn't think it's loud enough, the sharps aren't sharp enough, or the menu's not coming up fast enough.' Every day there were comments from Steve saying where it needed to be."

Knauss said Jobs' influence was sometimes idiosyncratic. For example, the iPod is louder than most MP3 players because Jobs is partly deaf, he said. "They drove the sound up so he could hear it," Knauss said.

At a certain time of my life, I hated the sound of ringing cellphone. Phone rings gave me headache and basically just messed with my head. They also stressed me up.

Specially designed by gastroenterologists and nutritionists, NutraPrep foods prepare the colon by leaving a minimal amount of residue in the bowel while providing complete nutritional balance for patients. Each food and beverage has been packaged with easy-to-understand instructions and labeled with icons indicating use at various times of the day: breakfast (sunrise), lunch (full sun) or dinner (moon and stars).

The NutraPrep meal kit contains an assortment of foods, including:

-- 3 vanilla shakes

-- 2 lemon drinks

-- 2 chocolate-flavored energy bars

-- 1 cinnamon apple sauce

-- 1 package of potato snacks

-- 1 chicken noodle soup

-- 1 stroganoff

-- 1 plastic mixing container with cover

NutraPrep can be used in conjunction with a laxative preparation, such as E-Z-EM's LoSo Prep, which contains less than 35 mg of sodium, significantly less than PEG or sodium phosphate preparations. LoSo Prep is a magnesium citrate and bisacodyl-based bowel preparation

I was at the Wellcome supermarket after having lunch to buy snacks and drinks for work. An old hunched back old man was behind in line at the counter with his left hand holding his cane and his right holding two 200ml cartons of milk which were on sale at $10 for two. The upper-middle age couple in front of me was buying a lot of things (by Hong Kong standard, most of us don't have car to haul our grocery) and they were certainly trying to get the best deals.

While bagging the grocery, the bagger (not very common in Hong Kong) told the couple that they could save a little more if they bring their own bags. The bagger meant well but the reaction from the woman probably made her think about saying that ever again. The woman was horrible, she started yapping and yakking at the poor bagger, saying things like, "Do I need you to tell me that? If I had brought bags would you be bagging my stuff in plastic bags? You think I'm crazy? You idiot. I am buying stuff here and you are not giving me plastic bags!..." The poor bagger was trying to tell her she didn't mean it that way, but the woman just kept on yapping.

The manager cooly told the bagger to help another staff at another counter, and the couple headed out of supermarket with the woman still complaining. The woman was still yapping away like a "eight grandma" (八婆) waiting at the traffic light just outside of Wellcome. The man asked her, "Do you have to be so noisy at the store?"

I am not sure if this kind of behaviour is related to the economy and inflation, but it made me realize why Hong Kong supermarkets' attempts at limiting use of plastic bags have failed. People just simply don't get it. A lot of people think that supermarkets are taking more things from consumers by trying to discourage plastic bags. Most of them think, "What the heck? Everything cost so much now and you [supermarket, stores, etc] are not even providing me with plastic bags?!" People feel as if a right is being taken away from them when stores such as supermarkets start some schemes to lower plastic bag consumption.

A friend who works at one of the biggest supermarket chains here told me that their stores lost revenue when they tried to promote to lower plastic bag consumption. At the end, the program

There are major core problems (crisis) at church that need to be resolved if our church can develop into a effective and healthy church. I don't know all of them but I will talk about the ones I have noticed so far.

1. Quality of believer
Shallow knowledge of God's will/Words, easy to be confused by what's right and wrong
Out of touch with God
Lack of quality believers to lead


2. Deacon selection process/system
Undeserving people become deacons, leaders of church
Leaders of church who do not know themselves and God well, out of touch with God (how do they lead?)
Lack of vision
Irresponsibility of church members when voting for decons. It shows the lack of quality in the church body. Lack of concern about ministries and well-being of church.

Freaking crazy Australia Consulate make you pay $180 just for a signature! What the heck?

So scary,you know there are people who just don't know too well but demand a lot from you. Or are somewhat overaggressive into getting what they wanted. Just scary people.

I was just dreaming, if that one day, Tin Chuen would have a large building with many floors, we could use some portion of one of the floor to make a historical museum of EFCC and with a rotating exhibit on local history. It would be free with a donation box near the entrance. All it needs is a start-up fund, and we can get advises from experts. It would be a great draw for people to come to church and be expose to the Gospel. I could be located next to the library. If people wanted to learn more about Christianity, they could go over to the library. There would be a board that give information about fellowships; activities for kids, students and elders; and other news that would draw people to Christ.

I pretty good site for learning history quickly. Actually basically a run through on different topics British kids have to study for their GCSE (some standardize exams they have to take).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/

So scary,you know there are people who just don't know too well but demand a lot from you. Or are somewhat overaggressive into getting what they wanted. Just scary people.

I was just dreaming, if that one day, Tin Chuen would have a large building with many floors, we could use some portion of one of the floor to make a historical museum of EFCC and with a rotating exhibit on local history. It would be free with a donation box near the entrance. All it needs is a start-up fund, and we can get advises from experts. It would be a great draw for people to come to church and be expose to the Gospel. I could be located next to the library. If people wanted to learn more about Christianity, they could go over to the library. There would be a board that give information about fellowships; activities for kids, students and elders; and other news that would draw people to Christ.

I pretty good site for learning history quickly. Actually basically a run through on different topics British kids have to study for their GCSE (some standardize exams they have to take).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/

30 seconds, 1 decision, 10 minutes.

Sometimes, despite your effort, you just don't get on the train.

Happened to me today. I was a bit earlier then


"What happened?"
"Maybe we weren't ready for such a committment."
"Sometimes I wake up, expecting to see you next to me. Turns out to be..."

"Sometimes I wish you are there when I go to sleep."


"You think we are now?"
"Hahahaha, maybe."

A bit demoralized after hearing that I was taken off from a project that I have been following up on since last year.I was suppose to start on it yesterday but extra work came along and it had to be delayed. And this afternoon after lunch, I was thinking of starting to work on it after finishing an assignment my superior gave me this morning. My superior told me that after meeting, they decided to relieve me of the assignment to let another editor at the English team to do it.

30 seconds, 1 decision, 10 minutes.

Sometimes, despite your effort, you just don't get on the train.

Happened to me today. I was a bit earlier then


"What happened?"
"Maybe we weren't ready for such a committment."
"Sometimes I wake up, expecting to see you next to me. Turns out to be..."

"Sometimes I wish you are there when I go to sleep."


"You think we are now?"
"Hahahaha, maybe."

A bit demoralized after hearing that I was taken off from a project that I have been following up on since last year.I was suppose to start on it yesterday but extra work came along and it had to be delayed. And this afternoon after lunch, I was thinking of starting to work on it after finishing an assignment my superior gave me this morning. My superior told me that after meeting, they decided to relieve me of the assignment to let another editor at the English team to do it.

I am wondering why I kept on working on history exercises and especially in topics that my colleague is more familiar, well, much more familiar with.

The good lately is that the weather cooled down enough that I don't have to turn on the A/C at night for the past two nights. During the hot and wet night, I usually turn on the A/C just before I go to sleep and if I could wake up, I would turn it off after an hour or so. I actually find A/C to be a bit too cold but if it's not cold enough then, the room wouldn't stay cool throughout the night. I don't like to turn on the A/C really because it consumes a lot of energy, it gets freaking cold and that I have to wake up in the middle of the night to turn it off. In the mean time, my body has to adjust to all this temperature changes and I just can't sleep too well when in the back of my head I am trying to remember to wake up to turn off the A/C in the middle of the night.

So a cool-down in temperature is very welcomed. I hope it last. It's probably related to the typhoon that just passed by Xiamen, which is about a 9 hours drive from Hong Kong. I had my window open with the fan circulating the air and the temperature was just right. The air wasn't damp, surprisingly dry actually. What's more, I wasn't bothered by mosquitos. I had no mosquito bites for the past two nights. I hope this is the end of hot and wet summer.

As I got to know myself better, I actually do think my mom did made some effort in getting me into things. Like when I was in Australia, my mom asked if I wanted to join a soccer club. That was probably a good suggestion that I ignored because, heck, what did I know when I was 9. Then after middle school, my mom checked into this public school for the arts and even sending me to a private school and those would probably be beneficial to me but my English teacher then suggested otherwise. I think my mom was right. Mrs. Trombotne didn't know me well enough, she categorized or in worst sense, stereotyped me. A smaller school and classes would have helped me, and the arts school probably would helped me to develop my artistic skills better .

Sometimes I wonder, who the heck wrote this stupid curriculum. The textbook is boring as hell and rather tedious and repetitive. A lot of it is not even history but more towards government, international organizations, international studies and environmental studies. The government part of the PRC is the worst. Without underlying infomation and insights, nobody can really understand how the PRC government works. It's structure on paper is only for sake of writing something on paper about it.

I am wondering why I kept on working on history exercises and especially in topics that my colleague is more familiar, well, much more familiar with.

The good lately is that the weather cooled down enough that I don't have to turn on the A/C at night for the past two nights. During the hot and wet night, I usually turn on the A/C just before I go to sleep and if I could wake up, I would turn it off after an hour or so. I actually find A/C to be a bit too cold but if it's not cold enough then, the room wouldn't stay cool throughout the night. I don't like to turn on the A/C really because it consumes a lot of energy, it gets freaking cold and that I have to wake up in the middle of the night to turn it off. In the mean time, my body has to adjust to all this temperature changes and I just can't sleep too well when in the back of my head I am trying to remember to wake up to turn off the A/C in the middle of the night.

So a cool-down in temperature is very welcomed. I hope it last. It's probably related to the typhoon that just passed by Xiamen, which is about a 9 hours drive from Hong Kong. I had my window open with the fan circulating the air and the temperature was just right. The air wasn't damp, surprisingly dry actually. What's more, I wasn't bothered by mosquitos. I had no mosquito bites for the past two nights. I hope this is the end of hot and wet summer.

As I got to know myself better, I actually do think my mom did made some effort in getting me into things. Like when I was in Australia, my mom asked if I wanted to join a soccer club. That was probably a good suggestion that I ignored because, heck, what did I know when I was 9. Then after middle school, my mom checked into this public school for the arts and even sending me to a private school and those would probably be beneficial to me but my English teacher then suggested otherwise. I think my mom was right. Mrs. Trombotne didn't know me well enough, she categorized or in worst sense, stereotyped me. A smaller school and classes would have helped me, and the arts school probably would helped me to develop my artistic skills better .

Sometimes I wonder, who the heck wrote this stupid curriculum. The textbook is boring as hell and rather tedious and repetitive. A lot of it is not even history but more towards government, international organizations, international studies and environmental studies. The government part of the PRC is the worst. Without underlying infomation and insights, nobody can really understand how the PRC government works. It's structure on paper is only for sake of writing something on paper about it.

It's hard sometimes to find a topic of interest to write some questions, exercises out. After running over the textbook so many times, it really gets boring and uninteresting. I fall asleep reading it looking for topics at times. I think I have been caught by my boss falling asleep at least 3 times already in the spent of 1 year.

I am not if I am getting old or something but last year, I actually get more energized around 5-7pm just when I am able to leae but now I can hardly bare to last beyond 6pm. My brain just get worn out and the side of my head begins to feel some kind of sensation as if something is pressing against it and I get a sharp intense pain on the upper right middle of my head and I do get weary and tire with little ability to process things. Am I too old already, too old to work hard and beat up my life?

I am reading books for work and the pictures remind me of my experience reading at home as a kid. I realized that we had quite a lot of books for me to read when I was a kid and thought about why my brother is not much of reading person. Well, internet. I think internet really dumb up people. It takes quite some to land a book in your house. It's has to be worth, books are not free and it kidn of go throught a selection process with, for example, a kid that was attracted by the book title, book cover, topic and illustration (maybe). And then he has to go to his parents and ask or demand to buy the book.. The dad and mom probably look over the book, quickly scan it and weight its value, and then check the price. With responsible parents, only a good book would get the "pass". So there is a selection or quality control process on books at home.

The internet, however, is a whole other place where there is little parental control on content, and of course, kids choose the "entertaining" stuff even if there is little real content of substance from the kid's selection on a computer in the WWW. I think that's why we find kids being more and more isolated and alienated from the real world, because they don't have to. They get to choose to be in different world.

It's hard sometimes to find a topic of interest to write some questions, exercises out. After running over the textbook so many times, it really gets boring and uninteresting. I fall asleep reading it looking for topics at times. I think I have been caught by my boss falling asleep at least 3 times already in the spent of 1 year.

I am not if I am getting old or something but last year, I actually get more energized around 5-7pm just when I am able to leae but now I can hardly bare to last beyond 6pm. My brain just get worn out and the side of my head begins to feel some kind of sensation as if something is pressing against it and I get a sharp intense pain on the upper right middle of my head and I do get weary and tire with little ability to process things. Am I too old already, too old to work hard and beat up my life?

I am reading books for work and the pictures remind me of my experience reading at home as a kid. I realized that we had quite a lot of books for me to read when I was a kid and thought about why my brother is not much of reading person. Well, internet. I think internet really dumb up people. It takes quite some to land a book in your house. It's has to be worth, books are not free and it kidn of go throught a selection process with, for example, a kid that was attracted by the book title, book cover, topic and illustration (maybe). And then he has to go to his parents and ask or demand to buy the book.. The dad and mom probably look over the book, quickly scan it and weight its value, and then check the price. With responsible parents, only a good book would get the "pass". So there is a selection or quality control process on books at home.

The internet, however, is a whole other place where there is little parental control on content, and of course, kids choose the "entertaining" stuff even if there is little real content of substance from the kid's selection on a computer in the WWW. I think that's why we find kids being more and more isolated and alienated from the real world, because they don't have to. They get to choose to be in different world.

Hagupit is a loser of a typhoon. It did nothing but lower productivity and killing birds. It didn't give us break from work but a mad rush to go back home for shelter. But it was powerful as I walked to work in the morning. Since it was closest to Hong Kong at night, I didn't know what was going on. As I was walking to the MTR station from home, I saw some gross stuff.

What I am impressed about some of my colleagues is that some of them work like machine.

Every once in a while I would visit the UCR website and I think it had a major changeover last year and I struggled to find what I wanted. Now they have a new UCR library website and I am totally lost with where I could find the E-journals.

Hagupit is a loser of a typhoon. It did nothing but lower productivity and killing birds. It didn't give us break from work but a mad rush to go back home for shelter. But it was powerful as I walked to work in the morning. Since it was closest to Hong Kong at night, I didn't know what was going on. As I was walking to the MTR station from home, I saw some gross stuff.

What I am impressed about some of my colleagues is that some of them work like machine.

Every once in a while I would visit the UCR website and I think it had a major changeover last year and I struggled to find what I wanted. Now they have a new UCR library website and I am totally lost with where I could find the E-journals.

Crazy. I correct and translated the changes from the Chinese revised edition last week and I am looking at it again because my Chinese version colleague simply threw away the text that were disputed instead of really fixing the problems. I could tell somewhat at times, and that was one of the reasons why it took me a while to do my translation and editing, because I was having a dilemma with the truthfulness of the text. As for the one I am looking at now, I just did my job and trusted in my colleague. Man, now I am looking back at it and it's scribble everywhere. I think it's really a waste of time to be re-editing again after spending so much time on the 'incorrect' revision. I rather that they give me the Chinese manuscript after they finalize on the revision. It's a mess.

Yesterday of Peggy's last day. I didn't know she was leaving until yesterday when a colleague texted me.

Crazy. I correct and translated the changes from the Chinese revised edition last week and I am looking at it again because my Chinese version colleague simply threw away the text that were disputed instead of really fixing the problems. I could tell somewhat at times, and that was one of the reasons why it took me a while to do my translation and editing, because I was having a dilemma with the truthfulness of the text. As for the one I am looking at now, I just did my job and trusted in my colleague. Man, now I am looking back at it and it's scribble everywhere. I think it's really a waste of time to be re-editing again after spending so much time on the 'incorrect' revision. I rather that they give me the Chinese manuscript after they finalize on the revision. It's a mess.

Yesterday of Peggy's last day. I didn't know she was leaving until yesterday when a colleague texted me.

What does "It may not be the reason behind," mean?

Shit, I have like this mountain of manuscript to look over and the deadline is 5 pm today if I didn't hear it wrong. That's only a little less than an hour from now. Mission impossible. I hope she said 5pm tomorrow.


Daze and Confuse

Accommodation

For the first night we stayed at a Vegas-size hotel only 7 minutes away from the airport. The room was large and luxurious-looking; it was a double room with two double beds. The only disappointment was the lack of bathtub. Otherwise, everything was fine.

The second night we were told early that there would be a downgrade to our accommodation away from the city of Xiamen but still the hotel was suppose to be best in town. I didn’t have high expectation compare to the first night but couldn’t be more disappointed with the supposedly 3 stars motel that we stayed at. To me, it was 1 star, 1 and half star at most. Why? There was no cable TV, the shower was basically a showerhead and an electric boiler and that’s it. It provided used slipper, dirty towels, strange shampoo and bathing liquid (I actually used them) with color coming off the lid. I found my right hand covered with blue and wondered what caused it and then realized it was from the shampoo lid.

You shower next to the toilet basically. I have been to rooms like this and they are not hotel or even motel room. The ones I have been to cost from RMB 40-80 (US$5-10) per night. And those were more like hostel room. They are actually pretty good deal, but the tour said 3 star or equivalent, and the one we stayed at was not 3 star. At most 2 star as said by my fellow tour buddies. It probably only qualified to be a 2 star because it provided soap, shampoo and towels.

The worst thing was that our rooms were on a hill and we had to carry our luggage up the stairs and climb the hill, pulling our suitcases. It was at the end of the day when we arrived, so we were all a bit worn out already and the shock of climbing hill and stairs with our luggage just…didn’t cut it. But I guess at least there was no rate at the room like the one at

http://www.freelancewritinggigs.com/

http://www.writingwhitepapers.com/blog/2007/12/11/top-10-blogs-for-writers-2/

Don't know why Hong Kong people or Hong Kongish people would say something like, so you are "developing"(發展) here...a term that is t o me, very economic, business-like. You don't here that often oversea, probably not even once. You don't hear people say, "oh, now you are developing," at least they would say it in a more specific way, like, "You are building up your career," and etc. I notice this because people say to me that "oh, you are developing (發展) here (as if not in someplace else)" and develop ( 發展 ), to them is a very broad them. It seems to include everything. I would perfer the term, "to live" or "living" ( 生活), as in, "Yea, I am 'living' here now."

Develop is more of like, what you can 'take out' in that particular place. What you can get out of it. At least to me.

Don't know why Hong Kong people or Hong Kongish people would say something like, so you are "developing"(發展) here...a term that is t o me, very economic, business-like. You don't here that often oversea, probably not even once. You don't hear people say, "oh, now you are developing," at least they would say it in a more specific way, like, "You are building up your career," and etc. I notice this because people say to me that "oh, you are developing (發展) here (as if not in someplace else)" and develop ( 發展 ), to them is a very broad them. It seems to include everything. I would perfer the term, "to live" or "living" ( 生活), as in, "Yea, I am 'living' here now."

Develop is more of like, what you can 'take out' in that particular place. What you can get out of it. At least to me.

101 post

Thinking up essay question and honestly I am kind of sick of reading the history textbook after editing it for almost a year. I am just not inspire by it, and it's just basically just work, that's all it is. I actually rely a lot of 'feel'. That's why I am not that persistent. I need to be motivated. I can't just do a work.

At one point, now, with the text read and edited over and over again so many times already, the interest in most of them topics is basically exhausted. My mind is seeking to find interests beneath the text and the off-shoots, the fun stuff about history, but I can't. I would like something that is interesting, fun, thought provoking and somewhat profound, but no, have to sick with the text.

I know that we can't really rely too much on middle school, high school history textbooks for they are basically just over-simplified and summarized history more like guidelines than anything. That's why lecture is suppose to be so important (like in college even though the textbooks are soo much more concise). Well, high school history and college history are probably taught in different ways. In college, you crunch through the hard readings and the lectures kind of give you an overall picture with the lecturuer's insight. The lectures piece the readings and data together, and give you the concept, perspective of history in the bigger picture. High school is more like read and answer question. The text is more general and the teacher's lecture goes more indept to make things more memorable.

http://www.sant.ox.ac.uk/people/tsang.html

Google launched its browser today, the Chrome, and I downloaded. Another browser after Firefox, Mozilla, Opera, IE, Safari and yea, do you remember Netscape Communicator? The big daddy of all. Netscape used to be the coolest thing, way ahead of IE or the one that came with AOL. Haha, remember dial-up? NetZero? Juno? Netscape Communicator used to come with an array of softwares like the composer which is a simple webpage maker and an e-mail program which was pretty useful and convenient, all in one package. Yeah, back in the days when internet was simplier. Every new Netscape version was a must have. Remember the lighthouse from Netscape? I thought that was the coolest thing.

Now people say, "Google it," but there was a time, probably back in early high school that we would say, "Yahoo it." How time changes things. And before then there was also metacrawler, self-proclaimed to be the most powerful search engine on the planet because it let you search with several search engines at the same time such as, excite, altavista and etc.

At work, I am, well, we are going back into working on the last edition (editing) of the world history textbook before it get published and go on sale in 2009 for the coming school year. It's back to Chinese-English translating/editing for me. At first it was a bit to get back into it, but I somewhat got back the handle of it just before lunch time.

http://www.indonesialogue.com/destinations/who-are-indonesias-ethnic-chinese.html

http://english.ohmynews.com/articleview/article_view.asp?article_class=5&no=361543&rel_no=1

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B07E2D6103AF931A35751C0A96E958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all

How to Do What You Love

Like to build things? Try Hacker News.

January 2006

To do something well you have to like it. That idea is not exactly novel. We've got it down to four words: "Do what you love." But it's not enough just to tell people that. Doing what you love is complicated.

The very idea is foreign to what most of us learn as kids. When I was a kid, it seemed as if work and fun were opposites by definition. Life had two states: some of the time adults were making you do things, and that was called work; the rest of the time you could do what you wanted, and that was called playing. Occasionally the things adults made you do were fun, just as, occasionally, playing wasn't—for example, if you fell and hurt yourself. But except for these few anomalous cases, work was pretty much defined as not-fun.

And it did not seem to be an accident. School, it was implied, was tedious because it was preparation for grownup work.

The world then was divided into two groups, grownups and kids. Grownups, like some kind of cursed race, had to work. Kids didn't, but they did have to go to school, which was a dilute version of work meant to prepare us for the real thing. Much as we disliked school, the grownups all agreed that grownup work was worse, and that we had it easy.

Teachers in particular all seemed to believe implicitly that work was not fun. Which is not surprising: work wasn't fun for most of them. Why did we have to memorize state capitals instead of playing dodgeball? For the same reason they had to watch over a bunch of kids instead of lying on a beach. You couldn't just do what you wanted.

I'm not saying we should let little kids do whatever they want. They may have to be made to work on certain things. But if we make kids work on dull stuff, it might be wise to tell them that tediousness is not the defining quality of work, and indeed that the reason they have to work on dull stuff now is so they can work on more interesting stuff later. [1]

Once, when I was about 9 or 10, my father told me I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up, so long as I enjoyed it. I remember that precisely because it seemed so anomalous. It was like being told to use dry water. Whatever I thought he meant, I didn't think he meant work could literally be fun—fun like playing. It took me years to grasp that.

Jobs

By high school, the prospect of an actual job was on the horizon. Adults would sometimes come to speak to us about their work, or we would go to see them at work. It was always understood that they enjoyed what they did. In retrospect I think one may have: the private jet pilot. But I don't think the bank manager really did.

The main reason they all acted as if they enjoyed their work was presumably the upper-middle class convention that you're supposed to. It would not merely be bad for your career to say that you despised your job, but a social faux-pas.

Why is it conventional to pretend to like what you do? The first sentence of this essay explains that. If you have to like something to do it well, then the most successful people will all like what they do. That's where the upper-middle class tradition comes from. Just as houses all over America are full of chairs that are, without the owners even knowing it, nth-degree imitations of chairs designed 250 years ago for French kings, conventional attitudes about work are, without the owners even knowing it, nth-degree imitations of the attitudes of people who've done great things.

What a recipe for alienation. By the time they reach an age to think about what they'd like to do, most kids have been thoroughly misled about the idea of loving one's work. School has trained them to regard work as an unpleasant duty. Having a job is said to be even more onerous than schoolwork. And yet all the adults claim to like what they do. You can't blame kids for thinking "I am not like these people; I am not suited to this world."

Actually they've been told three lies: the stuff they've been taught to regard as work in school is not real work; grownup work is not (necessarily) worse than schoolwork; and many of the adults around them are lying when they say they like what they do.

The most dangerous liars can be the kids' own parents. If you take a boring job to give your family a high standard of living, as so many people do, you risk infecting your kids with the idea that work is boring. [2] Maybe it would be better for kids in this one case if parents were not so unselfish. A parent who set an example of loving their work might help their kids more than an expensive house. [3]

It was not till I was in college that the idea of work finally broke free from the idea of making a living. Then the important question became not how to make money, but what to work on. Ideally these coincided, but some spectacular boundary cases (like Einstein in the patent office) proved they weren't identical.

The definition of work was now to make some original contribution to the world, and in the process not to starve. But after the habit of so many years my idea of work still included a large component of pain. Work still seemed to require discipline, because only hard problems yielded grand results, and hard problems couldn't literally be fun. Surely one had to force oneself to work on them.

If you think something's supposed to hurt, you're less likely to notice if you're doing it wrong. That about sums up my experience of graduate school.

Bounds

How much are you supposed to like what you do? Unless you know that, you don't know when to stop searching. And if, like most people, you underestimate it, you'll tend to stop searching too early. You'll end up doing something chosen for you by your parents, or the desire to make money, or prestige—or sheer inertia.

Here's an upper bound: Do what you love doesn't mean, do what you would like to do most this second. Even Einstein probably had moments when he wanted to have a cup of coffee, but told himself he ought to finish what he was working on first.

It used to perplex me when I read about people who liked what they did so much that there was nothing they'd rather do. There didn't seem to be any sort of work I liked that much. If I had a choice of (a) spending the next hour working on something or (b) be teleported to Rome and spend the next hour wandering about, was there any sort of work I'd prefer? Honestly, no.

But the fact is, almost anyone would rather, at any given moment, float about in the Carribbean, or have sex, or eat some delicious food, than work on hard problems. The rule about doing what you love assumes a certain length of time. It doesn't mean, do what will make you happiest this second, but what will make you happiest over some longer period, like a week or a month.

Unproductive pleasures pall eventually. After a while you get tired of lying on the beach. If you want to stay happy, you have to do something.

As a lower bound, you have to like your work more than any unproductive pleasure. You have to like what you do enough that the concept of "spare time" seems mistaken. Which is not to say you have to spend all your time working. You can only work so much before you get tired and start to screw up. Then you want to do something else—even something mindless. But you don't regard this time as the prize and the time you spend working as the pain you endure to earn it.

I put the lower bound there for practical reasons. If your work is not your favorite thing to do, you'll have terrible problems with procrastination. You'll have to force yourself to work, and when you resort to that the results are distinctly inferior.

To be happy I think you have to be doing something you not only enjoy, but admire. You have to be able to say, at the end, wow, that's pretty cool. This doesn't mean you have to make something. If you learn how to hang glide, or to speak a foreign language fluently, that will be enough to make you say, for a while at least, wow, that's pretty cool. What there has to be is a test.

So one thing that falls just short of the standard, I think, is reading books. Except for some books in math and the hard sciences, there's no test of how well you've read a book, and that's why merely reading books doesn't quite feel like work. You have to do something with what you've read to feel productive.

I think the best test is one Gino Lee taught me: to try to do things that would make your friends say wow. But it probably wouldn't start to work properly till about age 22, because most people haven't had a big enough sample to pick friends from before then.

Sirens

What you should not do, I think, is worry about the opinion of anyone beyond your friends. You shouldn't worry about prestige. Prestige is the opinion of the rest of the world. When you can ask the opinions of people whose judgement you respect, what does it add to consider the opinions of people you don't even know? [4]

This is easy advice to give. It's hard to follow, especially when you're young. [5] Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you'd like to like.

That's what leads people to try to write novels, for example. They like reading novels. They notice that people who write them win Nobel prizes. What could be more wonderful, they think, than to be a novelist? But liking the idea of being a novelist is not enough; you have to like the actual work of novel-writing if you're going to be good at it; you have to like making up elaborate lies.

Prestige is just fossilized inspiration. If you do anything well enough, you'll make it prestigious. Plenty of things we now consider prestigious were anything but at first. Jazz comes to mind—though almost any established art form would do. So just do what you like, and let prestige take care of itself.

Prestige is especially dangerous to the ambitious. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, the way to do it is to bait the hook with prestige. That's the recipe for getting people to give talks, write forewords, serve on committees, be department heads, and so on. It might be a good rule simply to avoid any prestigious task. If it didn't suck, they wouldn't have had to make it prestigious.

Similarly, if you admire two kinds of work equally, but one is more prestigious, you should probably choose the other. Your opinions about what's admirable are always going to be slightly influenced by prestige, so if the two seem equal to you, you probably have more genuine admiration for the less prestigious one.

The other big force leading people astray is money. Money by itself is not that dangerous. When something pays well but is regarded with contempt, like telemarketing, or prostitution, or personal injury litigation, ambitious people aren't tempted by it. That kind of work ends up being done by people who are "just trying to make a living." (Tip: avoid any field whose practitioners say this.) The danger is when money is combined with prestige, as in, say, corporate law, or medicine. A comparatively safe and prosperous career with some automatic baseline prestige is dangerously tempting to someone young, who hasn't thought much about what they really like.

The test of whether people love what they do is whether they'd do it even if they weren't paid for it—even if they had to work at another job to make a living. How many corporate lawyers would do their current work if they had to do it for free, in their spare time, and take day jobs as waiters to support themselves?

This test is especially helpful in deciding between different kinds of academic work, because fields vary greatly in this respect. Most good mathematicians would work on math even if there were no jobs as math professors, whereas in the departments at the other end of the spectrum, the availability of teaching jobs is the driver: people would rather be English professors than work in ad agencies, and publishing papers is the way you compete for such jobs. Math would happen without math departments, but it is the existence of English majors, and therefore jobs teaching them, that calls into being all those thousands of dreary papers about gender and identity in the novels of Conrad. No one does that kind of thing for fun.

The advice of parents will tend to err on the side of money. It seems safe to say there are more undergrads who want to be novelists and whose parents want them to be doctors than who want to be doctors and whose parents want them to be novelists. The kids think their parents are "materialistic." Not necessarily. All parents tend to be more conservative for their kids than they would for themselves, simply because, as parents, they share risks more than rewards. If your eight year old son decides to climb a tall tree, or your teenage daughter decides to date the local bad boy, you won't get a share in the excitement, but if your son falls, or your daughter gets pregnant, you'll have to deal with the consequences.

Discipline

With such powerful forces leading us astray, it's not surprising we find it so hard to discover what we like to work on. Most people are doomed in childhood by accepting the axiom that work = pain. Those who escape this are nearly all lured onto the rocks by prestige or money. How many even discover something they love to work on? A few hundred thousand, perhaps, out of billions.

It's hard to find work you love; it must be, if so few do. So don't underestimate this task. And don't feel bad if you haven't succeeded yet. In fact, if you admit to yourself that you're discontented, you're a step ahead of most people, who are still in denial. If you're surrounded by colleagues who claim to enjoy work that you find contemptible, odds are they're lying to themselves. Not necessarily, but probably.

Although doing great work takes less discipline than people think—because the way to do great work is to find something you like so much that you don't have to force yourself to do it—finding work you love does usually require discipline. Some people are lucky enough to know what they want to do when they're 12, and just glide along as if they were on railroad tracks. But this seems the exception. More often people who do great things have careers with the trajectory of a ping-pong ball. They go to school to study A, drop out and get a job doing B, and then become famous for C after taking it up on the side.

Sometimes jumping from one sort of work to another is a sign of energy, and sometimes it's a sign of laziness. Are you dropping out, or boldly carving a new path? You often can't tell yourself. Plenty of people who will later do great things seem to be disappointments early on, when they're trying to find their niche.

Is there some test you can use to keep yourself honest? One is to try to do a good job at whatever you're doing, even if you don't like it. Then at least you'll know you're not using dissatisfaction as an excuse for being lazy. Perhaps more importantly, you'll get into the habit of doing things well.

Another test you can use is: always produce. For example, if you have a day job you don't take seriously because you plan to be a novelist, are you producing? Are you writing pages of fiction, however bad? As long as you're producing, you'll know you're not merely using the hazy vision of the grand novel you plan to write one day as an opiate. The view of it will be obstructed by the all too palpably flawed one you're actually writing.

"Always produce" is also a heuristic for finding the work you love. If you subject yourself to that constraint, it will automatically push you away from things you think you're supposed to work on, toward things you actually like. "Always produce" will discover your life's work the way water, with the aid of gravity, finds the hole in your roof.

Of course, figuring out what you like to work on doesn't mean you get to work on it. That's a separate question. And if you're ambitious you have to keep them separate: you have to make a conscious effort to keep your ideas about what you want from being contaminated by what seems possible. [6]

It's painful to keep them apart, because it's painful to observe the gap between them. So most people pre-emptively lower their expectations. For example, if you asked random people on the street if they'd like to be able to draw like Leonardo, you'd find most would say something like "Oh, I can't draw." This is more a statement of intention than fact; it means, I'm not going to try. Because the fact is, if you took a random person off the street and somehow got them to work as hard as they possibly could at drawing for the next twenty years, they'd get surprisingly far. But it would require a great moral effort; it would mean staring failure in the eye every day for years. And so to protect themselves people say "I can't."

Another related line you often hear is that not everyone can do work they love—that someone has to do the unpleasant jobs. Really? How do you make them? In the US the only mechanism for forcing people to do unpleasant jobs is the draft, and that hasn't been invoked for over 30 years. All we can do is encourage people to do unpleasant work, with money and prestige.

If there's something people still won't do, it seems as if society just has to make do without. That's what happened with domestic servants. For millennia that was the canonical example of a job "someone had to do." And yet in the mid twentieth century servants practically disappeared in rich countries, and the rich have just had to do without.

So while there may be some things someone has to do, there's a good chance anyone saying that about any particular job is mistaken. Most unpleasant jobs would either get automated or go undone if no one were willing to do them.

Two Routes

There's another sense of "not everyone can do work they love" that's all too true, however. One has to make a living, and it's hard to get paid for doing work you love. There are two routes to that destination:

The organic route: as you become more eminent, gradually to increase the parts of your job that you like at the expense of those you don't.

The two-job route: to work at things you don't like to get money to work on things you do.

The organic route is more common. It happens naturally to anyone who does good work. A young architect has to take whatever work he can get, but if he does well he'll gradually be in a position to pick and choose among projects. The disadvantage of this route is that it's slow and uncertain. Even tenure is not real freedom.

The two-job route has several variants depending on how long you work for money at a time. At one extreme is the "day job," where you work regular hours at one job to make money, and work on what you love in your spare time. At the other extreme you work at something till you make enough not to have to work for money again.

The two-job route is less common than the organic route, because it requires a deliberate choice. It's also more dangerous. Life tends to get more expensive as you get older, so it's easy to get sucked into working longer than you expected at the money job. Worse still, anything you work on changes you. If you work too long on tedious stuff, it will rot your brain. And the best paying jobs are most dangerous, because they require your full attention.

The advantage of the two-job route is that it lets you jump over obstacles. The landscape of possible jobs isn't flat; there are walls of varying heights between different kinds of work. [7] The trick of maximizing the parts of your job that you like can get you from architecture to product design, but not, probably, to music. If you make money doing one thing and then work on another, you have more freedom of choice.

Which route should you take? That depends on how sure you are of what you want to do, how good you are at taking orders, how much risk you can stand, and the odds that anyone will pay (in your lifetime) for what you want to do. If you're sure of the general area you want to work in and it's something people are likely to pay you for, then you should probably take the organic route. But if you don't know what you want to work on, or don't like to take orders, you may want to take the two-job route, if you can stand the risk.

Don't decide too soon. Kids who know early what they want to do seem impressive, as if they got the answer to some math question before the other kids. They have an answer, certainly, but odds are it's wrong.

A friend of mine who is a quite successful doctor complains constantly about her job. When people applying to medical school ask her for advice, she wants to shake them and yell "Don't do it!" (But she never does.) How did she get into this fix? In high school she already wanted to be a doctor. And she is so ambitious and determined that she overcame every obstacle along the way—including, unfortunately, not liking it.

Now she has a life chosen for her by a high-school kid.

When you're young, you're given the impression that you'll get enough information to make each choice before you need to make it. But this is certainly not so with work. When you're deciding what to do, you have to operate on ridiculously incomplete information. Even in college you get little idea what various types of work are like. At best you may have a couple internships, but not all jobs offer internships, and those that do don't teach you much more about the work than being a batboy teaches you about playing baseball.

In the design of lives, as in the design of most other things, you get better results if you use flexible media. So unless you're fairly sure what you want to do, your best bet may be to choose a type of work that could turn into either an organic or two-job career. That was probably part of the reason I chose computers. You can be a professor, or make a lot of money, or morph it into any number of other kinds of work.

It's also wise, early on, to seek jobs that let you do many different things, so you can learn faster what various kinds of work are like. Conversely, the extreme version of the two-job route is dangerous because it teaches you so little about what you like. If you work hard at being a bond trader for ten years, thinking that you'll quit and write novels when you have enough money, what happens when you quit and then discover that you don't actually like writing novels?

Most people would say, I'd take that problem. Give me a million dollars and I'll figure out what to do. But it's harder than it looks. Constraints give your life shape. Remove them and most people have no idea what to do: look at what happens to those who win lotteries or inherit money. Much as everyone thinks they want financial security, the happiest people are not those who have it, but those who like what they do. So a plan that promises freedom at the expense of knowing what to do with it may not be as good as it seems.

Whichever route you take, expect a struggle. Finding work you love is very difficult. Most people fail. Even if you succeed, it's rare to be free to work on what you want till your thirties or forties. But if you have the destination in sight you'll be more likely to arrive at it. If you know you can love work, you're in the home stretch, and if you know what work you love, you're practically there.





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Notes

[1] Currently we do the opposite: when we make kids do boring work, like arithmetic drills, instead of admitting frankly that it's boring, we try to disguise it with superficial decorations.

[2] One father told me about a related phenomenon: he found himself concealing from his family how much he liked his work. When he wanted to go to work on a saturday, he found it easier to say that it was because he "had to" for some reason, rather than admitting he preferred to work than stay home with them.

[3] Something similar happens with suburbs. Parents move to suburbs to raise their kids in a safe environment, but suburbs are so dull and artificial that by the time they're fifteen the kids are convinced the whole world is boring.

[4] I'm not saying friends should be the only audience for your work. The more people you can help, the better. But friends should be your compass.

[5] Donald Hall said young would-be poets were mistaken to be so obsessed with being published. But you can imagine what it would do for a 24 year old to get a poem published in The New Yorker. Now to people he meets at parties he's a real poet. Actually he's no better or worse than he was before, but to a clueless audience like that, the approval of an official authority makes all the difference. So it's a harder problem than Hall realizes. The reason the young care so much about prestige is that the people they want to impress are not very discerning.

[6] This is isomorphic to the principle that you should prevent your beliefs about how things are from being contaminated by how you wish they were. Most people let them mix pretty promiscuously. The continuing popularity of religion is the most visible index of that.

[7] A more accurate metaphor would be to say that the graph of jobs is not very well connected.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Dan Friedman, Sarah Harlin, Jessica Livingston, Jackie McDonough, Robert Morris, Peter Norvig, David Sloo, and Aaron Swartz for reading drafts of this.

http://www.paulgraham.com/love.html