la la la

it's the day and age when all my friends (not really) seem to be getting marry and stuff. Really crazy. Well, like people at the same age as I, or even younger are getting marry.

A few days ago, I found out that my first crush is getting marry (she's been dating for ... 5 years?) but it just ring a bell. And her younger sister is probably going to get marry next year. It's like ... what? Not really, but it's just woah, it's this time of age when people at my age are getting marry.

Nothing wrong with getting marry, but it's just that i can't believe we are at this day and age. Fantastic for them. For me it's really amazing, they decided that they wanna spend every single day living together, they found someone they wanna spend the rest of their lives with. that's incredible to me. and i don't know how they do that. how do these things work?

and then i kind of think about me...humm, am i kind of behind in the game? (totally) but I just don't see it coming. How do they get to this point. I am still wondering at what i m doing here. and they are getting marry. when do you get marry?

i found out this week that two couples i know of broke up...

people said I don't look my age, i definitely don't act my age...they think i m like...3-5 years younger than i m. maybe i look young. or i just have great skin. maybe because I act like kid and am playful. although i really really envy the younger people.

college students or just people young than i are just really really cute, especially the girls. i mean, they are just somewhat more innocent and naive and direct. kind of miss that in older people.

i think because i have passed puberty that it's hard, really hard to get those melting into people sort of falling in love. everything is kind of been processed, less raw emotion and feeling for others. in high school, you just fall in love with everybody. her, her and her...don't get that nowadays. no. might be easier to be nice to people but harder, much harder to like fall in love. coz there's so much thinking beforehand...like job, money, career, match up, education, practicality and etc... by the time i finish run down the list...the feeling is gone already. or maybe i m just chicken.

how do you fall in love? how do you know that this person is the one you to spend the rest of your life with? you need to meet a lot of people. needle in the sea.